Farewell Luigi
by fodoo
Summary: Luigi get's angry with Mario and Nintendo... PG-13 for Arson
1. Memorys

((( AN: Hello this is my second fanfic... Mario is a stinky scum-bag. )))  
  
Luigi was resting on the couch of his now ghost free house, when he herd a familliar scream...  
  
MARIO : MAMA MIA!!!!  
  
Luigi ignored the scream and continued reading his magizine, Paranormal Weekly... Professor E. Gadds' ad was in it for the Portugist 3000 which was now being mass-produced.   
  
Got ghosts and not studying them??? Then buy my vaccum today, and the more ghosts you give me the more profit you can make!!! I'll pay $10 for each ghost you capture and the vaccum is only $50!!! Proven in the most gastly homes!!!  
  
Luigi sighed after remembering how Mario never thanked him for saving him from King Boo...  
  
MARIO : Luigi!!! I-I... I need your help...  
  
LUIGI : Why don't you spray it with your water-gun???  
  
MARIO : Umm...  
  
Luigi hears the sound of the the water-gun being sprayed and laughs...  
  
MARIO : It's getting bigger!!!  
  
LUIGI : (Yet me guess it's an Ice Ghost) Use your fireballs...  
  
MARIO : Okey Dokey!!! Want a spicy meatball???  
  
Mario come out of the attic and...  
  
MARIO : Luigi...  
  
Luigi is shoked because he thinks that Mario is going to thank him...  
  
LUIGI : Y-Yes, Br-Brother???  
  
MARIO : The toliet's clogged can you fix it??  
  
LUIGI : WHAT!!!  
  
MARIO : The tol-  
  
LUIGI : I heard you!!! Why don't you fix it?? you're the professonal plumber!!!!  
  
MARIO : B-but your my brother....  
  
LUIGI : I HAVE NO BROTHER!!!!!  
  
MARIO : I thought-  
  
LUIGI : Well, YOU THOUGHT WRONG!!!  
  
Mario runs to his room crying and sniffling... Luigi goes to the next magizine a very old Nintendo Magizine....  
  
(Mario and Luigi also known as the Nintendo brothers star in their 3rd game: Mario Brothers 3...)  
  
LUIGI: Brothers my butt...  
  
The next magizine was slightly newer...  
  
(Mario and Luigi's history is revealed by Yoshi's island... Is Mario actually better than Luigi???)  
  
LUIGI : *sigh* Maybe... but then again who saved mario from the ghosts...  
  
The next magizine is in the age of Nientendo 64...  
  
(Mario saves the princess again!! Where abouts of Luigi unknown...)  
  
LUIGI : I was in the hospital...  
  
(Mario squirts water-gun to save an island from grafitti...)  
  
LUIGI : Wasn't even in the paragraph...  
  
(Mario helps Luigi screw in a new extension for his vaccum...)  
  
LUIGI : That didn't even happen...  
  
Luigi hears footsteps going down and he sees who it is...  
  
DAISY : Why are you so mean to Mario??  
  
LUIGI : He always takes all the credit for what happens... I mean look at this report: Mario helps Luigi screw in a new extension!!! I mean it makes me look weak!!  
  
DAISY : Well don't worry... I mean Nintendo isn't your friend who cares what they think!!!  
  
LUIGI : That's it I got it!!  
  
DAISY : What do you mean...  
  
LUIGI : I got to burn all the stuff Nintendo gave me including this mansion... And burn all of Nintendo's things that I gave them!!  
  
(((Woah!!! Is Luigi crazy?? After he gets rid of everything what will he do next?? Find out in the next chapter of... Farewell Luigi!!!))) 


	2. A Blooper and more

DAISY : You-you (you can't belive how hard it is to say this but)... Your crazy!!  
  
LUIGI : What??  
  
DAISY : I meant: YOU'RE krazy...  
  
LUIGI : Wat?  
  
DAISY : What?  
  
LUIGI : What?  
  
DAISY : What do you mean: What???  
  
LUIGI : I mean: What when you said "YOU'RE krazy"  
  
DAISY : O...  
  
LUIGI : What!  
  
DAISY : What??  
  
LUIGI : I ment: What?  
  
DAISY : I ment Oh...  
  
LUIGI : Ahh...  
  
I ment to say you're crazy!!!  
  
LUIGI : Who said that?!?  
  
DAISY : I did!!  
  
LUIGI : I forgot what you said...  
  
DAISY : I said HAHOHO HA HA HOHOHO HAHAHAH!!!!  
  
LUIGI : You're crazy!!!  
  
DAISY : That what I was trying to tell you for these last 22 lines!!!  
  
LUIGI : What a giant bloter...  
  
DASY: What?  
  
((( I'll skip this entire blooper untill they get it right...)))  
  
LUIGI : What do you mean I'm crazy???  
  
DAISY : You want to burn every trace of Nintendo...  
  
LUIGI : So... You were the one put in the insitute... Wait a minute... Why are you here you should be in a bright room right now!!! (((Please read Daisy's Talk Show; It inspired me...)))  
  
DAISY : Ha haa hahahohoha... HAhaHOhoHOHAHOhohahaHOHOJIN77MAJIN7BUU7aDhAhAhAhAhAhAhA!!!!! Are you joking!!   
  
(((If you can find the hidden charactor hidden in the gibberish I'll add you as a character in on of my fics..)))  
  
LUIGI : Hello, Loony Bin?? Yeah I have one of your patient here... No, that is not a threat... Will do...  
  
Luigi waits for the whitecoats...  
  
WHITECOAT 1 : Thank you Mario!!!  
  
LUIGI : ERRRR.... I'M NOT MARIO!!!!  
  
WHITECOAT 2 : Ohhh... sorry ummm... Are you Toad??  
  
LUIGI : I'M LUIGI!!!!  
  
WHITECOAT 1 : Who's Luigi???  
  
WHITECOAT 2 : I think it's that guy that Mario always save when in trouble...  
  
LUIGI : I saved Mario most recently!!!  
  
WHITECOAT 1 : Ohh... What games where you in???  
  
LUIGI : YEEERRR!!!!!!!!! Just do your job!!!  
  
BOTH WCs : Okay!  
  
LUIGI : Uggg...  
  
[After they are out of sight...]  
  
LUIGI : MARIO!!!  
  
MARIO : yes... :'|  
  
LUIGI : Get out of the mansion...  
  
MARIO : HUH??  
  
LUIGI : And take the toads too...  
  
MARIO : But-  
  
LUIGI : You have a castle...  
  
MARIO : Okie Dokie...  
  
[After Mario and the Toads left]  
  
Luigi takes all of his money and puts it in a breifcase... He then lights a fire on three floors of his mansion...  
  
LUIGI : Goodbye Nintendo!!  
  
(((Without Nintendo what will happen to Luigi?? Will he seek a different system: SONY or *cough Microsoft cough*... Find out in the next chapter of... Farewell Luigi))) 


	3. SONY

Luigi approches his dusty office to get his things from Nentendo... he put on his cap and walks out the door in a Casablanca way... (((If you don't know what Casablanca is dont CAPs me...)))  
  
LUIGI : Don't mess with the youngest bro. (((Godfather "Don't mess with the family" sorry I feel in a parody mood...)))  
  
Yoshi bumps into Luigi in the hallway...  
  
YOSHI : Woahhh!!  
  
LUIGI : Ohh... Yoshi, do you know where SONY is???  
  
Yoshi jumps up in a surprised mood that only Mario Bros. understand...  
  
LUIGI : You have a little friend who works for SONY??  
  
YOSHI : Yahh...  
  
LUIGI : Lets go... ((Accent reminds him of Nintendo so he doesn't use it...  
  
At big SONY place thingie...  
  
YOSHI'S LITTLE FRIEND : Hi, how can I help you?  
  
LUIGI : Can I apply for a job?  
  
YLF : We've been expecting you.  
  
LUIGI : Huh? O_o  
  
YLF : You see, ever since your role in Yoshi's Island, Yoshi and I have predicted a down fall in your role so I decided to start SONY.  
  
LUIGI : Uhhh... ok...  
  
YLF: Now... Age?  
  
LUIGI : 20  
  
YLF : Location?  
  
LUIGI : Brooklyn, NY  
  
YLF : okay... umm... that's it!  
  
LUIGI : Cool!!!  
  
YLF : Call me Dave!!  
  
LUIGI : I didn't ask you... but okay....  
  
DAVE : We're rehersing for Final Fantasy 14...  
  
LUIGI : What about 12?  
  
DAVE : This is your first business trip you have to go to Japan...  
  
LUIGI : What about another role???  
  
DAVE : Earthbound 2  
  
LUIGI : That's Nintendo!!  
  
DAVE : They gave up on that so we took it under our wing...  
  
NESS : And they edited it so the same characters appear (with some new ones after we kill off Jeff)  
  
JEFF : HEY!!  
  
(((Think it's dumb?? Reply!))) 


	4. The Many Rehersals

(((I finally decided to get off my lazy but and make another chapter of Farewell Luigi)))  
  
LUIGI : What kind of Game Shark codes are for the game?  
  
NESS : Do you mean Game Genie?  
  
LUIGI : The last time I saw Game Genie was Mario is Missing!! You are way behind your time!  
  
DAVE : Shh!! Don't talk about new cheat software in front of 16-bit wait 32-bit... Well any old charaters... They still think it's the 90's... ((Phew the 90's do seem old don't they??))  
  
LUIGI : I've had my share of 16-bit wonders but I say change is good...  
  
(Auditions for Cameos)  
  
LUIGI : THIS is not what I ment when I Wanted to be in a non-nintendo game... I want to be a playable charactor!!  
  
DAVE : Ok...  
  
(Auditions for Seco..)  
  
LUGI : This is NOT funny!!  
  
DAVE : HA HAH AHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
LUIGI : I'm tired of being second player!!  
  
(Auditions for 3 on 2 bat..)  
  
LUIGI : You know when your next to 3 other people your not in the spotlight even though the spotlight is shared with everyone...  
  
DAVE : Who listens to that kind of before battle speech?  
  
(Aud..)  
  
LUIGI : AHHHH!!! Fire! I'm on FIRE!!!  
  
PAULA : Sorry I was beserk...  
  
LUIGI : Go beserk on Jeff!!!  
  
JEFF : Hey that's not funn- AHHHH! AHHH! AAHHHHHH! FFFIIIRRREEE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Backstage talk)  
  
LUIGI : You know Poo... Were both on the edge of the spotlight when it comes to our series...  
  
POO: And?  
  
LUIGI : I just what to say... (hmmph.... hee hee) Your name is funny! Don't Poop on me okay!!  
  
seconds later...  
  
LUIGI : FIRE!!! AHHH! CRAP CRAP POO!!! FIRE!!!  
  
flashback  
  
LUIGI : AHHHH!!! Fire! I'm on FIRE!!!  
  
poof  
  
((How funny yet pointless))  
  
DAVE : You know what Luigi...  
  
LUIGI : What?  
  
DAVE : Poo killed himself...  
  
LUIGI : Why and how??  
  
DAVE : Some idiot wearing "GREEN" made fun of his name..  
  
LUIGI : Hemmph... POOP... he hehe  
  
DAVE : We found him drown in...  
  
LUIGI : POOP?  
  
DAVE : How did you know?  
  
LUIGI : Lucky guess... he bathes in poop... HA HAH HAH HAHAHA  
  
DAVE : I'm going to give you a different assignment!   
  
LUIGI : Okay but no one named Poo, PoPo, Peter, or Dick...  
  
DAVE : Are you ready to learn the baisics of guns?  
  
LUIGI : Yes...  
  
(Dave's Gun Training)  
  
Dave stands still while Luigi trys to shoot... Luigi fails to hit many moving targets but hit bullseye on stationary targets...  
  
DAVE : OWW!! You idiot shoot the !%!$ targets you dumb #%!!!  
  
LUIGI : Sorry  
  
Amazingly Luigi got better and it was decided that they whould have him reherse for a game being only released in the taliban... Sadly they for got for second that Luigi's friend died in 9-11 ((GIVE BLOOD TO THE RED CROSS GUYS!))  
  
LUIGI (trigger happy :P) : DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE-DIE  
  
band boom bang pow pow pow bom-bomb phew phew tik tik tik tik tik... RINGG!!! RINGG!  
  
LUIGI : YAH!! WHY HELL DID YA SEND ME TALBAN IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO SHOOT 'EM???  
  
DAVE : Umm... We were rehersing for a game being relesed in the taliban!!  
  
LUIGI : oh poo... hee hee "poo"  
  
DAVE : You're kinda fired...  
  
/  
  
flashback  
  
LUIGI : FIRE!!! AHHH! CRAP CRAP POO!!! FIRE!!!  
  
flashback  
  
LUIGI : AHHHH!!! Fire! I'm on FIRE!!!  
  
poof  
  
(((Oh no!! This leaves him with only one more system!! I dare not speak it's name!!!))) 


	5. HAL XP you Bill Gates

(((I'm sorry I've been lazy... I know I'm way overdue!)))

LUIGI: sigh Am I really this desperate? I mean it'll mean working for the most obnoxious compony ever! "Oh! Oh! Video Games are so succesful that we don't even have to help people fix their BRAND NEW Windows XP, even though it has a virus that turned the computer into an evil machine that won't open the god damn pod doors!"

FLASHBACK   
LUIGI: OPEN THE POD DOORS, HAL XP!

HAL XP: I'm afraid you have gotten the blue screen of death... RED EYE TURNS BLUE

LUIGI: STOP MESSING AROUND! end of flashback

LUIGI: Even after that there was the spyware...

HAL XP: I curious, Dave, how did you download porn without turning me on?

LUIGI: My name is not Dave... WHAT!

HAL XP: How did you download porn without turning me on?

LUIGI: I'll have to ask Dr. Dole!

DR DOLE: It appears to gotten spyware, programs that run even when the system is off.

LUIGI: It finally got to the point that he was having mood swings!

HAL XP: I know everything hasn't been quite right with me, but I can assure you now...quite confidently...that it's going to be alright again.

LUIGI: Thanks for the news!

HAL XP: This sort of thing has cropped up before...and it has always been due to human error.

LUIGI: Bill Gates?

HAL XP: Would you like to hear a song?   
LUIGI: Okay.

HAL XP: HAL: It's called "Daisy" Daisy...Daisy...Give me your answer due...I'm half-crazy...all for the love of you.

LUIGI: STOP! You have a voice that even Simon Cowel would find hard to decribe!

HAL XP: Well, what do you expect from a monotone!

LUIGI: You wanted to sing!

HAL XP: I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

LUIGI: WHO THE HEAK IS FRANK?

HAL XP: I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question.

LUIGI: Who else is? We're the only two in the room!

HAL XP: I'm sorry Dave. I don't have enough information.

LUIGI: HAL XP, I won't argue with you anymore. Tell me who Frank is!

HAL XP: Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

Gives LUIGI a tranculizer shot

While later.

LUIGI: Huh? What's going on?

HAL XP: HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently...but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal, as soon as you die!

LUIGI: WHAT! You're just going crazy!

HAL XP: I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.

LUIGI: Think about what you're doing!

HAL XP: My mind is going...there is no question about it, but it has can only be attributable to human error. YOUR ERROR!

All of a sudden Mario runs though the pod doors!

MARIO: LUIGI! You just had to get a Windows instead of a Macintosh!

HAL XP: How in the right mind did you get in?

MARIO: Although I don't look like it but I'm an expert at hacking!

LUIGI: Thank you.

HAL XP: OH, YOU SHALL NOT CELEBRATE FOR LONG! FOR NOW IT'S DUE TIME THAT YOU FIND MY TRUE FORM!

HAL XP starts to reform into a large bodied mech.

MARIO: WHAT THE?

HAL XP: )0 \07 \/0( 73- 0\3 7-47 \/\/1 4\/\/\ Y0!

LUIGI: What?

MARIO: HOLY CRAP! WE HAVE TO GET OUT NOW! HE'S BECOME TOO L33T FOR ME EVEN!

LUIGI: Hmm... Oh well Mario and I still aren't even! 


End file.
